The Power of Control, Influence and Acceptance

Success begins with clear distinctions about the things I can control, the huge number of things I can influence, and accepting the things that simply “are.” High achievers insist on controlling their thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. They attend the seminars, read the books and listen to audio programs. They hang out with positive people and surround themselves with models of success. Control the things you can! Go where it’s good.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the degree to which we control our own destiny. Are we really in charge of our lives, or do heredity, the environment, other people and luck play a larger role than we like to admit?

When it comes to free will, it seems like we make our own decisions. But we also know the power of habits and influence. We know advertisers can manipulate us by changing the packaging of a product. Every now and then I find myself saying something and realize “that’s my Dad’s voice!” (How strange!) Or, how about decisions to start or stop some behavior, decisions that often seem to be ignored in the rush of life? How do we account for this?

It seems we give ourselves a huge advantage if we are clear about the things we control, the things we influence, and the things over which we have little or no control.

For instance, it’s tremendously empowering to accept and use the control we have over our thoughts and attitudes. Viktor Frankl noted that our ability to choose our attitude in any situation is the “last human freedom.” No one can take that away from you, not even in a Nazi concentration camp!

We can, to a remarkable degree, choose our thoughts. Right now, as you read this, take a moment to picture a big pink elephant. Go on! You can do this! (Silly, right?) But not so silly if you then choose to think about something more useful. How about choosing to think about time with your child, or success at work, or achieving your most important goal? You can choose to worry about taxes or celebrate how rich we are. Your choice.

Other things we can influence, but our control is much less direct. My influence over government policy is pretty minimal, but in a democracy I can vote (or not). I can call or email my representatives, or not. My influence may be minimal, but it is not zero!

I can influence my family, my friends, and I certainly influence the environment in my home and office. Can I control every detail? Of course not. But my words, my attitude and my behaviors absolutely make a difference.

And that’s vital! When I fail to exert my influence, I lose my power. When I refuse to “play the game” I become, to some degree and in some ways, power-less. And that’s not good! By persuasion and example, we have tremendous influence. We can often make a huge difference, and success and happiness in life depend on exerting our influence for the best possible outcomes.

Finally, there are many things over which we have no control. I cannot control or influence the weather. I have little or no influence over the laws of nature or other people’s choices, attitudes or behaviors. And the sooner I accept that and learn to live with it, the more successful I can be.

Fighting against or resenting things we cannot control is a mark of immaturity. Success people refuse to fight against things that simply “are.” I love the saying that “reality never lies.” It simply is. Successful people learn to use everything that is — natural resources, their time, their talent, their skills, and the strengths of other people — to their advantage. When life puts a wall in front of you, learn to go around, over, or through it. But never beat your head against it!

Success begins with clear distinctions about the things I can control, the huge number of things I can influence, and accepting the things that simply “are.” High achievers insist on controlling their thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. They attend the seminars, read the books and listen to audio programs. They hang out with positive people and surround themselves with models of success. Control the things you can! Go where it’s good.

And extend your influence where you can. Encourage others. Teach them. Invite or challenge or coach for peak performance. Some will decline or choose something different and that’s alright. But where you can, be an influence for good. It may be a small thing, but together let’s use our influence for a better world!

Finally, accept the things you cannot control. Some things just “are.” Leave them alone, or use them to your advantage. Admire their beauty or marvel at their stubbornness, but do not get caught up in the drama of trying to move the immovable object. It doesn’t work out well.

These are some of the tools for a World Class Life. In many ways they are “simple” but no one teaches us and even if we know about them, we are rarely encouraged to apply them.

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“Worry is like a rocking chair — it gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

– Dorothy Galyean

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“IDon’t be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin.”

– Grace Hansen

“Dance like no one’s watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like no one’s listening, live like it’s heaven on earth.”

– William Pukey

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Remember the saying that those who fail to plan are planning to fail? We have all heard it at one time or another, and we know it’s true, even though many of us act as if it doesn’t apply to us. Well, it does apply!

Last month I had the opportunity to talk with a group of unusually successful young entrepreneurs and the thing I noted was their attention to detail. This particular group is part of a network marketing organization, and they know exactly where they are going. Specifically, they have written goals and strategies related to:

1. Identifying their key niche. They know WHO to contact.

2. The number of prospects to contact each week.

3. A strategy and budget for reaching those prospects.

4. A detailed, documented sales presentation.

5. A follow-up strategy and a system to track it.

6. A training and mentoring program to nurture new members.

7. Clear, written long-range goals that are measured in revenues, profits, investments, number of “associates” and productivity per member.

No wonder this organization is growing and making money! They have a plan that guides their daily activity and gives them feedback about their performance.

Every business needs a plan, and this particularly applies to self-employed professionals. It simplifies your daily activities, automates your priorities, and lets you know what’s working and what isn’t.

Have a plan. Write it down. Review and fine-tune it. Then, every day in every way, work your plan! It’s a proven path to success.

If you’ve determined that you’re going to get more serious about your success for the remainder of 2011, get a coach! The best athletes, artists, and business leaders all use great coaches! Perhaps you should, too. When you’re ready, contact me at: rodger@rodgerblaker.com

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I’m not sure if these are examples of “useless knowledge” or trivia, or just someone with far too much time on their hands. I do know they made me chuckle and that improves the quality of my life! I hope you enjoy them.

Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.

‘Lollipop’ is the longest word typed with your right hand.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

‘Dreamt’ is the only English word that ends in the letters ‘mt’.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence, ‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’ uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words ‘racecar,’ ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left. (palindromes).

There are only four words in the English language which end in ‘dous’: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘facetious.’

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (How does anyone test this????)

A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

February, 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite!

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

Now you know more than you did — and aren’t you glad!?

Rodger Blaker works with executives, small business owners and professionals who want to grow in their business and create an extraordinary life!

For info on resources for your success, visit: http://www.BlakerBusinessCoaching.com or call me at 214-485-2238.

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